Sonia's story

Sonia was 17 when she had an arranged marriage to a man introduced by her parents.  At first she was happy and it was her choice to get married. However, as soon as she got married her husband moved her in with his parents. 

At first it was her in-laws who started the controlling behaviour, but Sonia's husband soon followed. None of them would allow her out and when they left the house they would take the phone with them so that she couldn't call anyone.  When her family called her husband or in-laws they would be told that she was out and when they came to visit her she would be threatened beforehand not to say anything to them.

The first time her husband hit her was when she was pregnant with her daughter.  She had many complications throughout the pregnancy, most caused by the abuse.

She made up her mind to escape when her husband started to turn on their daughter.  Usually, when she was left alone at home, the doors were all locked from the outside.  When she noticed one day that a door had been left unlocked, she took the opportunity to grab her daughter and run.  She walked to her sister's house and called her parents who took her back to their home. 

Although she thought she had got to safety, her husband continued to harass her wherever she went and last year started custody proceedings for their daughter.  With little knowledge of the legal system, she felt powerless to fight her husband.  She was forced to allow her ex contact with their daughter - despite the fact that her daughter would beg her desperately not to make her go.  She knew that keeping her daughter from her violent father could mean a criminal charge for her.  Without support she didn't know what her rights were, or how to fight for them.  All this time she had to cope with constant threats and harassment from her ex.

She then called the helpline, which she describes as a "miracle".  Sonia was referred to a community support officer, who is still working with her.  With the worker's support she was able to navigate the complicated and daunting legal system, as well take measures to protect herself from the constant threat of her ex.  She won full custody of her daughter this month.  While she is still struggling to cope with the emotional effects of the abuse, she finally feels that, without the weight of the custody proceedings over her, she can move on.

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London Councils helps fund the 24-hr Freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline - run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge. The funding covers the costs of calls from women seeking help and support helpline staff and volunteers.

_{Photo courtesy of Julian Nieman}